Software of the Month Club 1996 June

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Text File | 1996-02-19 | 27.6 KB | 286 lines | [TEXT/hscd]

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The planet Heck has recently put chickens on the endangered species list. So, in a hopeful attempt to replenish their supply of chickens, they decide to send their greatest fighter to steal chickens from the planet Earth. That fighter is you. In your spherical space ship, which combines roominess and aerodynamical speed, you launch for the puny planet Earth. You arrive at the speck of a planet, beat some poor farmers senseless, rob them of their chickens, and injure a lamb as you make your escape. The angry futuristic farmers hop in their speedy space ship and begin to chase you into outer space. They get so close to catching you that you are forced to fire missiles at their pursuing ves- sel. But a malfunction occurs, and your ship loses all its cargo, including the chickens you just stole. Oh, no! However, the missiles you fired connect, and the earthlings' ship spews out more chickens and more cargo into the treacherous asteroid field! The chickens start to run out of precious air. So you, being a bold-hearted and chicken- liking person, dive into the asteroid field to capture the chickens with your special grappling arm . . . GO GET THOSE CHICKENS! ================================ As you are searching for more chickens, you remember how you beat up those innocent farmers when you stole a few chickens on Earth's surface. It starts to kind of get to you how you hurt an innocent lamb in your task that your leaders on Heck assigned you. You start to wonder why you are following your leaders' orders. But then you remember that you are doing this for the sake of your planet. You get angry at yourself for doubting your mission. And you promise yourself that nothing will stop you from replenishing your plan- ets supply of chickens! Not even the life of an earthling! GO GET THOSE CHICKENS! ================================ Feeling a little curious, you wonder if there are any chickens in the farmers' speedy space ship with the hole in it. So you decide to guide your ship next to it and look around. You know that the farmers are religious people by the Christ- ian symbols you beheld while stealing the chickens. Being brought up on an alien world, you came to dislike Christians and their silly ways. "This is my chance," you ponder, "to finally tell one how foolish and gullible they all are!" You're about to beam yourself over to their ship when sud- denly, through the large sun- roof of your ship, a light from heaven flashes all around you. You fall to the metal floor on your knees and hear a voice say, "% , % , why do you persecute me?" "Who are you?" you query. "I am Jesus, whom you have per- secuted," the voice replies. "Now get up and beam yourself to the earthling ship and you will find what you must do." You get up from your knees, but when you open your eyes you can see nothing. You stumble to the controls for the beam- machine, and you blindly beam yourself to the other space ship. As you rematerialize you feel the cold end of a high- powered laser pistol pressing against your forehead. TO BE CONTINUED . . . =================================